Tonight the show named "baaz ham zendegi" belonged to the people in wheelchairs.

There were some excellent points cleared on the show :

1- physical disability is not something that belongs only to a few people. It is general, it could be me or you, 5 minutes later, who knows?

2- people with disabilities do not need pity, they need facilities.


It's sad but true. I was wondering that if human being was born with no legs from the start, wouldn't have the world advanced to the degree that it has today?

I am sure that it would have. I mean that legs have nothing to do with promotions, hadn't we owed these legs, we would have developped the same world as today, but maybe with no stairs, or with great facilities or extremely advanced technology on elevators and walkers and wheelchairs everywhere.

Yes it could be me or you, wish I had a lot of money or influence, wish I could do something to improve their situation...

There is a taxi driver on my way to university whom I meet every other day. He is just another example of my "first glimpse, final conclusion!" theory ;)

He's about 42 years old, with a hair style as a beatle, does not dress as someone in 70s, but looks like them! well, he was the kind of person whom I happened to like at very first rencontre.

Later we happened to have an argue once. He chose a different route to the square, bringing me into trouble going to uni, "why did you change the route? " I complained, "You should have told me earlier where you would going to descend." he justified. I was fairly angry, because not only he had done what no other taxi driver did, but also he was too obdurate to accept that he should have not changed the route without informing the passengers.

About 20 days ago, when the news on restraining gas sale was published, going to university, I reluctantly sat in his taxi to reach uni. There he was angry, arguing another passenger who was a lad at the age of 23 or more, who used quite equivocal statements about the gas news, confusing everyone! The taxi driver and I, were angry at him, and did criticize his assertions together furiously.

From that time on, I've liked him as I did first. He is kind of anomaly! in taxi drivers community. Educated from university, he is god damn bookish, and is so much like any of us, enchanting his passengers with Queen, Eagle, etc. in his car.




Today I was wondering...yes ...you can be a taxi driver...you can be in love with your wife and daughter.... and You can still listen to Queen in your car in this country of this "lovely" president.

Yes. No matter where you live, how old you are, if you're starving, or dying,

THE SHOW MUST GO ON!

Searching for the words such as "GRE" and "toefl" , I fount this very interesting blog : admission source.


I've found it so useful and eclectic, besides being updated almost frequently.

God Knows How I adore Life....!

God Knows How I adore Life....!

God Knows! :D

شاید از من چیزی نمانده باشد
وقتی که آخرین پرنده پرواز کند
یا آخرین درخت شکوفه کند
یا آخرین کشور به انفجاری تصادفی کشته شود.

شاید این پایان سهم ما نشود
شنیدن صدای پای آخرین پیرمرد زمان
که زباله های آخرین کوچه ی آخرین شهر آخرین کشور را
در سپیده یی تازه دمیده، جارو می گشد.

شاید دیر باشد.
شاید از من چیزی نمانده باشد.
و تو رفته باشی
پیش از رسیدن آخرین سپیده

شاید پایان انتظار، مرگ من نباشد.
و مرگ جهان، سهم پایان من شود،
من آخرین شوم
تو نرفته باشی
تو آخرین شوی
شاید به صف شویم
شاید آخرین دفعه نباشد که می بینمت

وقتی ساعت برای بار سوم زنگ می زند
و آخرین پیغام فرار ارسال می شود
شاید سیاره ای کشف شده باشد
سیاره ای که خورشیدی به دورش می گردد
و سپیده ای برای دمیدن دارد
و پیرمردی که جارو می کشد

شاید من مرکز جهان شوم
شاید در اولین نقطه
از اولین خیابان
از اولین شهر و اولین کشورش پیاده شوم
شاید در اولین سپیده اش
با اولین زنگ ساعتش
از راه برسی.

شاید تو اولین نفری باشی که از راه می رسد
شاید ما اولین نفراتی باشیم که انتظارمان را مرگ نسخه نمی پیچد
شاید ببینمت
شاید جاودانه شویم
شاید چیزی از من باقی مانده باشد.

The most terrible fact about practicing for GRE is that, no matter how many words you memorize per day, there are still a thousands more left, it's like subtracting an integer from infinity.


I wonder if practicing is only a futile attempt to gain a good score in GRE verbal section Or am I just grossly underestimating my abilities ?


Dis donc, je suis un peu inquiet :)

I am a little bit "kalaafe" these days. I am done with the exams but I have got a lot of homeworks to deliver. However, this is not the problem.

This feeling of "kalaafegi" is present everywhere and all the time. I don't know how to explain it. I am ok when I am programming or reading books. But as soon as there comes an interrupt, the feeling suddenly attacks again.

I had promised to little marjoon that everything was going to be perfect as soon as the exams were over, but the truth is that everything is going more complicated and she is gonna face a terrible year, this year.

I've been reading the book Funny in Farsi by Firoozeh Dumas, which is "A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America" . The book is funny and interesting enough to follow nonstop. Living with parents in USA has its own problems as living with them in Iran and living without them is yet another confusion.

Today, A. told me that I am just running away from my family by leaving abroad. He said I can fight to gain more freedom here. But I said that I can't bear hurting my mother with even a single word against her will. "But you'll hurt her so deep by leaving her, the only difference is that you'll not see her hurt that way" he answered.

I know it's true that my departure will upset maman. But at the same time, she is one of the people who is urging me to do my best to leave. What I am running from, is not my family, is the government, is Police, is the bigoted people, is the discriminations against women.

It is true that there are a lot of people walking in streets, shopping, eating and enjoying their time, but I can no longer be allured by living a life of luxury while there is a lot of dirt lying beneath. Buying expensive clothes and eating in expensive restaurants and going out with friends no longer satisfies me.

I hate going out with a god damn scarf, I hate meeting guys who think are the most perfect creatures of the world and call me a "zaeefe" , I hate sitting in car when the driver insults the female drivers all the time, I hate professors that either are ready to f u right away in their office because they have married their wife with no love, but tradition, or they just won't look me in the eye because they are one of those crazy religious bigots. Yes I hate. I hate to get married in a country that I should deliver an evidence of virginity to my mother-in-law , or my my mother-in-law is gonna kiss my mouth to see if it stinks or not. Damn you. God damn you people.


If my parents are worried about me, if they ban me from going out late, if they check out on me all the time, it is not because they are affected by prejudice, it is just because they wanna save me against these people, this dirty society, bigots and the Police. If I was a mother here, I would do the same to my daughter too, in a city that the Police are criminals themselves, how one can trust to let her daughter go out alone?


Yes. A. was right repeating : I wont let this happen to my children...

Is living equal to waiting?

How long?

Waiting for what we never get.

We're always waiting...always...with no gain....

I am trying to keep myself busy, not to find any time for despair. I am only a few steps from this little goal. I should concentrate and keep on my good work.

Sometimes I am worried. Just the way shiva has said in this post, afraid to fail and not reach this little goal, the other times, I wonder how it'd be like being left alone in a foreign country and then I panic, I wonder what if it drives me crazy and leaves no way to run away...

The biggest problem is that I want both together, Family & living abroad. Since I believe in no geographical border, it doesn't matter for me Iran or elsewhere, I just wanna live in security, in a country whose goverment does not interfere in people's private lives, in a country in which a woman is not stereotyped as a drudge.


I am waiting impatiently.